Tim Woff

It's such a shame when actors trickle off and begin to shun the exciting, fiery roles that they made their name with for more simple, easy fluff (I'm looking at you De Niro, yes I know you're the only one there that is why I am looking at you. Yes I am looking at you, I cannot make this any clearer). Tim Roth while never any ones favourite actor seems to be doing that with Skellig, a new fantasy drama on TV this Easter.
Can we all just get over these kids fantasy films please, they are all the same, and I'm getting pretty bored of them. In fact so bored I've written my own: Dinglefart Bumblecunt, in which a bullied little pissflap is magically transported to an alternate London, ruled over by Joris The Bonsen and his Kamaroo birds (they are a metaphor for cctv. What I did was take the word 'camera' and work back from there). Our little pissflap makes friends with a Hooded Mooslam named Dinglefart, a half Moose half human monstrosity that always wears a black robe (metaphor for a Muslim) and although at first scarey helps take down Joris through friendship and kindness and freeing the dominated populace at the same time. Pissflap is then transported back home where he finds he was just locked in hs garden shed and had succumbed to turps fumes. I'm asking Tim Roth if he wants in, because I recently watched both 'Made in Britain' and 'The Hit' and he is incredible in both and I know he can handle it. Both films show a raw, unpolished, utterly convincing Roth making full use of his terrifying sneery grin. I was going to write about them both in detail, but you should just rent them or something, the very least you could do is watch their trailers on Youtube you lazy git. Tsk, the things I do for you. Both films get 9 cockney hoodlums out of 10.