Mr Grumples Gets Monged Out.

Gran Torino. Gran Fucking Torino. What a stinker.

Although Clint Eastwood now looks like a shell-less turtle and sounds like Papa Lazarou doing an impression of The Dark Knight, he can still command the screen. A presence that could never dull due to the incredible body of work behind it, Clint still remains witty, intimidating and at times ferocious. And this is the problem, Clint is so good, he easily outshines the rest of the cast, spotlighting how incredibly bad their acting is. Are the Mong cast even actors, or just there because they're Mong? How Clint's character develops any kind of bond with the uncharismatic kid next door is beyond me. The dude can barely speak his lines, and please, look away when any emotion is required because you'll want to clench your teeth so tightly in embarrassment they'll shatter down your chest like tic tacs.

The ending is so disappointing, so easy and sentimental I honestly wondered if this was the same film everyone has been wanking on about. I know its an Eastwood joint, but I think people are getting 'effortless' confused with a film that just couldn't have any less effort put into it. What is the deal with everyone just accepting mediocrity?

Hamfisted ideas of 'why can't we all get along' are bludgeoned into our eyeballs, but it just doesn't work. I was going to say something about the scene where Clint looks at himself in the mirror and actually says what he wants you to think about the parallels and differences between his family and the family next door, but I can't remember what he says now, but look out for it as a total low point for movie subtlety. How can a legendary film maker responsible for some of my favourite films sink so low? If you want a film chock full of the complexities of awkward relationships, the notion of growing old and emotion that isn't from a Hallmark card, watch 'Thunderbolt and Lightfoot'.

The one thing this film does tell us, is that racism is funny. Think about it, what parts of the film did you laugh at? Yeah, that's right, when he said 'slope'. Funny.